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where it all ends
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yay! 280 is over!!! and the final wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be. i actually knew more questions than i didn't know, so that's good. i'm pretty confident that i at least kept my b in that class. the publishing/distribution final went ok, too, i'm pretty sure. eh, whatever. at this point, i'm just glad it's over, and i know my gpa won't really suffer all that much after this semester. now i only have one more final to go, and it's a take-home, so it's a lot less pressure. i need to write a four-page essay by friday. i'm thinking i'll use 12 font arial, and it won't be bad at all. hehe. what can i say, i'm such a slacker. damn, my brain really does hurt now...too much studying! i think i'll enjoy some more time-wasting, mind-numbing collapse now. =) tyler, you're so evil for introducing me to that game during finals!! posted at 9:08 PM oh, i just remembered another highlight from friday night: meeting dylan "officially" and laughing about how we really already knew who each other was cuz of these blogs. hehe. oh, and another one: going to rick's screening and seeing that he had given me a thank you in the credits. i was very touched although i didn't really do anything (i sent out an e-mail to help him get music for his film--big woop). still, that was very nice. =) good times all around this weekend. now really, back to studying. *sigh* posted at 6:10 PM
posted at 5:58 PM now playing: the strokes, is this it awww...such a good weekend, i'm so sad it's over. especially realizing that this was my last *real* college partying weekend. i know next week will be fairly quiet cuz some people will still have to study for finals, and then the weekend after that i'm sure a lot of people will be gone already for the summer. so so sad. =( BUT, i don't wanna think about sad things right now, instead lemme relate what a great weekend this was, beginning w/ friday night. despite my efforts to get a certain freshman to party w/ us so i could conclude a whole freakin semester's worth of flirting, it didn't happen. but whatever. emily and i concluded that all freshmen are clueless, anyway, and not worthy of our time. so phooey on them. everyone was all gung-ho about hooking up tho, we wanted it to be a 200 cigarettes night (really funny movie where everyone hooks up w/ someone at the end). but alas, it didn't happen for all. but i think there was still a general consensus that it was a really fun night, just cuz we were in a perfect party setting, where we knew a lot of the people there, but where there was enough new people to meet and talk to. and it was easy to talk to those new people, too, cuz as emily pointed out, it seemed that no one was more than two degrees seperated from each other. it was just really cool. some of the highlights of the night included: *getting to know our neighbors from 449, jim and carr, better. jim's a really cool guy, and i won't hold it against him that things didn't work out w/ him and my lovely roommate. and carr promised to teach me how to roll a joint!! hehe, how cool is that? *seeing my roommate from freshman year, tiffany, who i hadn't really talked to since freshman year. *finding out that blink chris seemed to be interested in me (this according to emily, who didn't tell me til after i'd left w/ my back up!! don't worry em, i won't hold it against you). *the funniest moment of the night was probably when this guy and his friend/roommate/whatever (i can't remember too clearly cuz i was pretty freaking drunk the whole night) came up to me, introduced themselves, and said, "we just wanted to let you know how beautiful we think you are." it was just funny cuz that's never been said to me in a team effort kind of way. i hope i didn't laugh at them (i really can't remember) cuz that was actually quite touching, but still rather funny. *pinky swearing w/ someone about something. i wish i could remember what exactly i swore to. i'm pretty sure it was either w/ carr about the joint thing or ben about the back-up thing. but anyway, that just stuck out in my mind cuz i haven't pinky swore in like forever. *making asses out of ourselves in front of robert from ralphs. by the time he got there, everyone was sooo drunk and i don't think any of us (especially emily and i) could help but proclaim, "oh my god, you're robert from ralphs. we recognize you from ralphs." etc etc. yeah. i think he was pretty entertained, tho. he was being friendly and talkative, so whatever. altho too bad that nothing happened w/ him and jen. i'm still trying to figure out where she and kyla got the idea he was gay. i dunno. like jen said, he's still pretty to look at. *seeing, and actually talking to (instead of avoiding) past hook-ups: duane and travis. duane wants to have lunch or something to catch up before i graduate (he's still here for another year cuz he's an arch major). oh shit, i totally only just now realized that both of these guys are arch majors. hehe. small fucking world. but anyway, travis seemed cool, too, not bitter at all (i hope). we talked for a while, and he introduced me to one of his friends/roomates/whatever (i really can't remember...i consumed sooo much alcohol!). *this actually happened saturday morning, but since it was kinda the conclusion of friday night, i'll include it here. i was coming home and i get on the elevator and then some guy gets on, too. so i'm pretty much just looking at the floor cuz i'm really tired and hungover and i know i prolly just look like ass. despite the fact that i'm very obviously avoiding eye contact, he insists on being chatty w/ me. when he saw that i pushed the button for the fourth floor, he cracked a joke about getting the "penthouse." it took me forever to get it, but then i just said, "oh yeah," still looking at the floor. and then, even tho i'm looking at the floor, i could feel him looking at me and then he says something like, "so long night, huh?" and i mumble back something like, yeah. and then he said, "you shouldn't party so much." and then at this point i'm thinking, ok, what the fuck is this guy's deal? so i finally look at him, and he just has this totally good-natured smile on his face. i realized that he was just teasing me and not being judgemental at all. so then i just said something like, "but partying is so much fun!" and he laughed. before he got off on the third floor he wished me good luck on my finals. oh dear, no wonder they call it the walk of shame. and that's pretty much it for friday night (at least as much as i remember). as for saturday, pretty uneventful. emily and i tried finding this party in troy, but there wasn't any party in the apartment we thought it was in. we did find another group that was heading to a party, and thinking we might have just been informed of the wrong apt number, we followed them to troy 354. but we left like after less than 15 minutes cuz we knew absolutely no one there. eh, whatever. neither of us were that much in the partying mood anyway. oh, this is funny, tho. before we left for the party we were talking about how we thought that this party was probably gonna be a bust w/ no cute guys, and just to be silly we made a sign for our door that said "all hot guys please knock." hehe. we took it down really fast tho cuz when joy left we heard a lot of suspicious opening and closing of the front door, so we went to check it out and saw that she had written "we want to get laid" after what we had written. although quite funny, we just couldn't leave that up. and oh, i almost forgot. i got a letter yesterday (yeah, an actual letter...remember those?) from scott, aka brittish guy (also past hook-up). man, i hadn't heard from him in such a long time. it made me smile cuz he said that he's started dj'ing at some club and was gonna dedicate soma by the strokes to me cuz it reminded him of me and america. aww, shucks. =) and today i went to fiesta broadway w/ rick, lawrence, and thomas. it was really cool, so many interesting things that we saw and experienced. however, seeing as this entry has already gotten way long, i'll just briefly mention some of the most memorable things: seeing the Kool-Aid guy, getting tang from this cool-ass dispensor on this guy's back, drinking a pina colada from an actual pineapple (yummy, although non-alcoholic), taking the champion-chip challenge (they were giving out tortilla chips, get it? i thought it was the funniest thing but no one else got it at first), getting a ton of samples of those listerine breath-strip thingies and giving them all to lawrence, playing w/ this noise-maker/happy face thing that we first discovered in thomas' apartment and then spotted being sold at the fiesta, hearing everyone say, "wait, isn't cinco de mayo next week?" and of course, the best part that made the whole trip worthwhile in my opinion, was getting our maggi chickens!!! it's this ceramic piggy bank that is just sooo campy and cheesy that it's just fucking rad! we're all gonna get together sometime and paint our chickens...while wearing our maggi aprons, eating our torengos tortilla chips, and while lawrence blows bubbles and makes noises w/ his toy that he bought for only a dollar!! hehe. ok, i'm getting carried away. but that was my weekend. and now i must study. =( *shakes fist in the air* posted at 8:37 PM oh yeah, i forgot to post this before...i didn't get the renaissance scholars $10K prize. =( *wipes away tear* here's what they had to say about it: The faculty panel has reviewed your application for the Renaissance Scholar prize. I am sorry to inform you that you have not been nominated to receive one of the prizes. The panel reviewed extensive dossiers on each prize candidate. The dossiers included student applications, essays and faculty recommendations as well as transcripts of all undergraduate coursework at USC. Out of a pool of 85 candidates, the panel nominated only 17 students as prize recipients. Although you will not receive a monetary prize, this in no way changes your candidacy for the academic honor. This academic honor is awarded to a select group of graduating seniors like yourself who have an excellent academic record and whose academic major(s)/minor(s) represent the type of breadth with depth that we encourage at USC. well, here's what i have to say to that: FECK YOU!! not that i'm bitter or anything... posted at 9:49 PM
posted at 9:43 PM now playing: at the drive in, relationship of command (damn, this album is fucking good!! that's right, my friends...not just good, but fucking good!) umm, yeah. interesting occurences. all i know is that i'm staying out of it. it would be incredibly dumb on my part to get into something knowing that all i'd really be doing is setting myself up for awkardness and emotional distress. and i really don't need any of that, so fuck it. i refuse to get in the middle of things. i really hope everything gets worked out, and i am more than happy to be a friend and a source of support, but i am officially detaching myself from all this weirdness. yeah, this situation pretty much sucks for everyone involved, but you know, i realize that there's nothing i can do about it, so i'm just not gonna feel bad about this. i mean, i honestly hate to see the other two people involved with this dealing with so much pain, and like i said before, i really hope that things get worked out, but it's outta my hands. so that's it, i guess...nothing more to do, nothing more to say. *shrugs shoulders* on a completely different note, something happened to me today that is too funny not to tell. but WARNING: do not continue reading if you are easily embarrassed, as i am about to cross into the too much information category. so here it goes: i had my oh-so-wonderful annual pap smear today (boo!!), but it was funny cuz the gyno was trying to make the experience as least uncomfortable as possible (which i actually really appreciated), so she was chatting me up, trying to get me to relax. and just as she was instructing me to...well, let's just say "open wide," she cracked a joke, saying that all she asked of me was to not kick her, which totally made me laugh. so then i asked her if anyone had actually ever kicked her, and she said no, but that one time this one girl got completely tensed up and locked her knees together...with the doctor's head still in between!!! damn, that picture in my head was just too funny. despite this little anecdote, though, gyno exams still equal no fun!! i hate how i feel completely and utterly exposed sitting pretty much naked on that table and answering all those personal questions. ugh! but it's over now...won't have to think about it for a whole 'nother year. yay! posted at 8:56 PM mood: back to blah. i have only one more day of classes and thoughts of facing the real world are making me feel a little panicky. don't get me wrong, i'm incredibly happy that i'll finally be done w/ school, but fuck, i'm scared. =( on top of that, certain issues that i thought had been resolved seem to not be so resolved anymore. i'm not sure what i want or what i'm feeling. some re-evaluation is in order, i realize. i really wish i had some chocolate cake right now, or a brownie. mmmm. the stupid vending machine didn't even have anything that would remotely satisfy my chocolate craving, agh!!! anyway, i need sleep now...will think things through tomorrow. posted at 11:37 PM the purity challenge is ON, tyler! posted at 11:47 PM
still, i thought the e-mail response i got (a few days after i received the note, interestingly enough) was pretty funny: Subject: Re: Question for God Your question: what the [expletive deleted] is this? The word of the Lord: As a woman came into existence from a man, so men come into existence by women, but everything comes from God, as does His website. haha, i love it. my expletives have never been deleted before! posted at 7:40 PM i know, i know...it's almost a sickness how many of these stupid quizzes i take. but hey, at least i'm entertaining myself. now, seriously, off to bed! ![]() posted at 11:53 PM
today i went shopping w/ my sister and finally bought myself a new pair of earrings. i finally found the one i had lost, but had already thrown away the other one. =( whatever. i'd been meaning to get new ones forever anyway. and now i totally have the yearning to get even more piercings!! all in due time, i suppose. i also bought an incense burner/storage case so i can burn my incense now w/out getting ashes all over the place. yay! and i just now re-took the spark's purity test, and found out that i'm 51% pure. that's a good place to be, i think. i'm still more pure than i am dirty. go me! posted at 11:37 PM now playing: alkaline trio, s/t (it's a comp of some of their older 7 inches) "sorry I'm late, I was out spoiling my liver" that is an excellent, excellent line. it's from the song "cooking wine," by alkaline trio. it's 4/20!! we all know what that means! *wink* fun times. now i need to get my sluggish ass ready to go to the beach!!! yay. and more drinking and smoking tonight. ahhh. i am feeling good. =) oh, and happy birthday, jen! posted at 12:34 PM now playing: more saves the day (yay!) stick a fork in me, baby, cuz i am DONE!! i'm so happy. no more papers, no more midterms, no more homework!! well, there's finals i guess, but whatever with those. tyler made a good point earlier saying that i could totally blow off all my finals and still pass all my classes. indeed! so no more school-related stress for me! *huge grin* this is gonna be a good weekend. jonah's onelinedrawing and remy zero tomorrow, i'll probably go to the beach on saturday, and i just realized that it's a 4/20 weekend!! i had totally forgotten about it. such good timing, too. very promising weekend, indeed. =) posted at 10:57 PM whoa, i went to this site and something really freaky happened. try it out. lemme know what happens. now i'm back to writing my paper. that's good on one hand cuz it's my very last paper of my college career (!!), but bad on the other cuz that means i get no sleep tonight. =( posted at 5:14 PM now playing: saves the day, through being cool (whoa, does this take me back) gotta love the afros. work it baby, work it! posted at 11:04 PM
posted at 9:33 PM
well, my mood has been upgraded from "blah" to "pretty damn good." certain issues have been discussed and more or less resolved. i've at least gained a friend out of all this mess, and i'm glad that i'm helping him through his issues (at least i hope i am). i am reminded once again of a borderline cliche phrase that everyone spouts off when difficult situations arise: things will work themselves out. right now i'm really and truly believing that. i just hope that brings at least a little comfort to all you who i know have been going through some tough times lately. and i leave you w/ the words of rem, cuz they are just so much more eloquent than anything i could ever put together: everybody hurts - rem When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on. Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes. Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along. When your day is night alone, hold on, hold on If you feel like letting go, hold on When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on. Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends. Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand. If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long, When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on. Well, everybody hurts sometimes. Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes. And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on. Everybody hurts. You are not alone. posted at 1:00 AM now playing: all the meloncholy songs on my winamp playlist (am thinking some cure is in order soon) my vulnerability issues are preventing me from writing stuff that's been circling my mind lately. but suffice it to say that my mood right now is: blah. posted at 1:42 AM hmmm...all this stuff that's happened w/ jen and dylan has made me relive a few things. i feel for her so much cuz i've been there, and i know how much it sucks. i just don't get it. why is it that someone can say they like you, and maybe even mean it, but not want to be with you? or is it just a cop out--them trying to sugarcoat things to make things easier? ugh, whatever. i guess it's all water under the bridge now, no use in getting all worked up about it. still, it sucks. posted at 10:37 PM
ugh! i've been breaking out and i lost an earring. blah. and i've been watching "the most controversial videos" on mtv2, and damn, i'm disturbed. freaks, i say! they're all a bunch of freaks! posted at 9:41 PM song i'm obsessed w/ at the moment: wild horses, by the sundays (download it right now!) it's a friday night and i'm actually home. can't remember the last time that happened. weirdness. i'm just sooo tired. the nap i took after work only left me feeling groggy and more sleepy. so i just decided to scratch the usual friday night party thing and spend some quality time in front of the tv. =) don't get to do that often (or at all) these days, it seems. i hadn't watched such quality shows like south park and celebrity deathmatch in a long ass time. that was fun. but now i seriously need sleep. and oh yeah, last night at tyler's was good times. good food, good wine, good people...and of course, the cutest dog ever, warren! and i didn't really mind sheppie's barking, either. like i said, good times! posted at 11:57 PM song that's been stuck in my head all day: anyone else but you, by the moldy peaches home for lunch, yay! so i'm looking at my results for that "what sex position are you?" test, and damn, it's soooo funny. i'm not too sure about that first part, but i guess that last sentence really is me. and oh yeah, i'm not too much of a fan of the ol' 69. sorry...i may just have crossed the line into the "too much information" zone. whatever. i'm in a very rambunctious mood today. =) posted at 12:43 PM
Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley posted at 12:17 AM nope, didn't get my grade for that last midterm. apparently, two ppl in that class still haven't taken it so the professor didn't want to talk about it yet. oh well. i guess i won't find out how i did til next week, since tyler convinced me to ditch class this thursday for some kind of dinner and wine thing he's having at his place. such a bad influence, tyler! tsk tsk. anyway, i need sleep now. stupid 8:30am work schedule! =( posted at 11:58 PM
posted at 6:48 PM i'm still kinda bitter that we lost an hour this weekend, but i guess it's kinda cool that it's almost 7pm and the sun is still out. not like i wouldn't have wasted that hour, anyway. i was completely unproductive this weekend. saturday was springfest (which was really fun by the way, despite the fact that tyler and i didn't stick around for lit...or maybe because of that fact, hehe). 12+ hours of smoking (not cigarettes, *wink*), drinking, and just hanging out was cool. good times. and yesterday i wasted practically the whole afternoon just downloading songs! whoops. i guess i got a little carried away. here's a little sampling: lou reed - perfect day velvet underground - heroin ani difranco - not a pretty girl mana - me vale (yes, that's spanish) mazzy star - fade into you sneaker pimps - six underground the sundays - wild horses (i think it's a rolling stones cover...really good) weezer - suzanne patti smith - dancing barefoot (actually, the track listing says patti smith group, but whatever) pj harvey - down by the water liz phair - fuck and run most of the stuff i downloaded are older songs that i always really liked but just never owned. so i guess i solved that problem! =) i love ethernet! what will i ever do when i have to leave university housing? =( i guess i better take advantage now! only three weeks of school left, baby! i still need to look for a job, tho. i haven't gotten really serious about that yet. eek. and damn...i find out tomorrow how badly i did on my MUIN 280 midterm. poop. posted at 7:12 PM now playing: the hives, veni vidi vicious (riyl the white stripes) ugh! i'm so frustrated! i've been trying to figure out why the alignment on my posts is all whack. some are left aligned, and some are justified, and some are half and half!!! wtf?!?!? i can't figure it out and it's bugging the hell out of me...i need some order dammit! if anyone has any idea why this could be, please help! i know, i know. this is such a little thing, and i shouldn't be getting all worked up. but you know, little things like having the alignments match would make me happy. i saw tim armstrong from rancid at epitaph today!!! that was cool. of course i didn't talk to him or anything, cuz i'm just a lowly intern and all. but still... oh, and i was actually in the same room w/ brett gurewitz today! i've seen him around the building like once before, but today i was actually like right there. i'll admit it, i was giddy. =) ok, it's dinner time! posted at 7:11 PM now playing: bad religion, the process of belief i think i aced one midterm and failed the other. how's that for balance? i'm hoping that my perception is a bit skewed and that i really didn't fail the one i think i did bad in. i'm just hoping for a c, heck, a c- even. i just wanna pass the class. it's the only one that i'm not doing so well in. well, i guess i got an a- on the first midterm, but i still don't know how i did on the paper. i don't exactly think it was my best work, cuz i just didn't fucking care. ugh! but that's it. no more midterms, finally! so i'm just gonna put that out of my pretty little mind for now, and enjoy my weekend. i guess i'm going to some party at sigma nu tomorrow w/ emily...the row's not really my thing, but i'll go to help her on her quest to get that freshman! and then of course, saturday is springfest...consumption of foreign substances w/ tyler!! should be fun. posted at 11:53 PM
posted at 12:25 AM looks like my good day streak is continuing. i kept thinking about our april fool's joke, kept me smiling all day! i told everyone who'd listen about it. you know, just bringing some laughter into people's lives. =) then i got a midterm back in my music publishing and distribution class and got an a! yay me! and when i got home i got a call from nancy, who i'd been meaning to call cuz it was her b-day yesterday (bad jessica, i shoulda been the one who called her. s'ok, tho, cuz my card to her this year was damn good!). we talked about stuff, told her i was doing well, and gave her some advice on some other stuff. very similar to advice she had given me earlier, actually...funny how things work out. but that was good...me and nancy, we understand each other so well, it's always good talking to her. and in the "it's the little things, man" category, i got some random im today from shortwave seneca, saying he likes my blog cuz, to quote him, i have "a way with words." how cool is that? and here i was thinking that like maybe 4 ppl at the most read my blog. but yeah, i thought that was very nice. and lastly, tyler and i made plans to go to springfest this saturday, primarily to catch the line. there's also plans for large alcohol consumption, which is always good in my book! but i'm very much looking forward to that, i finally get to meet tyler! and to think we never even would have known of each other if it weren't for these blogs!! which reminds me, there was this article in the march issue of spin about how online journal sites have become so popular with people our age. and they totally talked about stuff that really hit home about why i, personally, feel so attracted to this here blog of mine. they even talked about how a lot of ppl talk about music on their sites, and they made some comment about quoting lyrics from emo bands, and specifically mentioned dashboard confessional. i was just like, "whoa, that's totally me." so yeah. that was quite interesting. i wish they had it online so i could post a link to it. it was kinda eerie reading it, cuz it almost perfectly described how i feel about this whole blog thing. pretty cool. posted at 12:53 AM jen, emily, and i pulled off the best april fool's prank today!!! it was so great! i'm still laughing about it. but anyway, it all started yesterday when i was just fooling around online, basically procrastinating from doing my homework. i came upon all these april fool's stories about pranks and stuff, and it got me thinking about how i've never really tried to pull off a good april fool's joke. emily felt the same, and so we decided that we were gonna try something this year. at first we were thinking of targeting our other roommates, just cuz they'd be easy targets cuz we live w/ them, but then decided against it cuz it just wouldn't be that gratifying. then emily suggested that we make rick our victim, cuz he's one who would appreciate a good practical joke, and i agreed (despite recent circumstances, we're still on good terms). then we came up with a really good prank that kept getting bigger and better the more we discussed it and plotted it. it was decided that i would tell rick that the foo fighters would be playing a secret show at the whiskey this saturday, but that tickets would go on sale tonight at 8pm. we thought it would be believable coming from me cuz of my music contacts, and plus i just wrote him an e-mail so that he wouldn't be able to ask me all these questions that i might not be able to answer. jen was in charge of making sure he got the e-mail, and she also was the one that suggested we say it was the foo fighters cuz he'd definitely go out of his way for that. and then the best part of the joke, in my opinion, which was tyler's idea, was that we send him to some porn shop for the tickets, only without him knowing that it was a porn shop, so that he'd get there and be all confused. we picked drake's on melrose since it's name didn't give anything away and emily and i had just been to melrose yesterday and remembered that store. so i sent off the e-mail this afternoon, and was soooo relieved when he totally fell for it!! but then i started to have second thoughts about it when he left me a message on my answering machine thanking me for letting him know. he sounded so excited and i felt kinda bad for getting his hopes all up. then jen started to have second thoughts, too, and we considered letting him get just outside the door and then yelling out "april fool's" at him and cutting it off there. but emily still really wanted to see this through, and both tyler and jason thought we should do it, too. so we let rick, with michael in tow, go. oh, and we also thought it'd be really funny if when they got there, there was a sign waiting for them that said "april fool's!!!" so emily took charge of calling the store, and altho they wouldn't put up a sign at the door, they agreed to write up a note for them saying april fool's from jen, emily, and jessica. so with all our parts done, we just waited. they took a kinda long time to get back tho, and emily and i immediately began to think that they were trying to come up with something to get us back. and then when jen told us that they had gotten back, but didn't really say anything about it to her, we knew something was up. so rather than waiting around for it, whatever it was, emily and i just went over to orange:house to put closure to our joke and get whatever they had coming to us over with as well. so we get there, yell out a pitiful "april fool's," not knowing what to expect (they did have us pretty good, i have to say, we had no idea what they were thinking), and then they attacked us with water!! punks! but then we all laughed about it, and they told us that they had totally been duped up til the very moment they read the note!! god, this was just soooooo good! both rick and michael were good sports about it, and they both said they totally appreciated the joke. hehe, i know i'll be laughing about this for a loooong time. good times! =) posted at 12:09 AM
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