Friday, May 31, 2002
i'm so lonely. i guess i'm the only intern coming in today at epitaph. i think analisa's on her vacation in either europe or mexico, i forgot where she said she was going. sunil's touring w/ warped, and benny...who knows? that kid always seems to come in whenever. hmmm. i guess i'll just have to entertain myself today. thank goodness for the internet!

posted at 11:15 AM

Thursday, May 30, 2002

yay for advice that makes everything so freakin' clear!! thanks tyler! i feel sooo much better now. i guess i just needed some affirmation...that what i'm feeling is normal and not some borderline psychosis. or maybe it was just pms. eh. regardless, everything's ok now. wow, this is the first time i haven't been confused in a really long time. that's quite a feat, tyler, quite a feat indeed. =P

been job hunting all day. i've revised my resume and cover letter like a gazillion times. blah. but i did apply to the few i found on monster that i 1) seemed qualified for and 2) seemed remotely related to the music biz. i also applied at the staples center, just to have some income coming in if the search for the "real job" takes longer than anticipated. such a depressing thing job hunting is. *sigh* but i'll get through this, like countless others before me (i hope!).


posted at 5:47 PM

i dunno, man, the following is hard to believe. especially considering that i have no job and am sitting at home at 2:30pm on a thursday afternoon taking quizzes. ummm, yeah.




Take the What Kind of Slacker are You? Quiz




posted at 2:41 PM

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

now playing: bjork, vespertine

damn, vanilla sky is such a good movie. i saw it again last night with chris, and even the second time around, when i knew all about the surprise ending, i thought it was great. awesome soundtrack, too. gotta love cameron crowe!

oh, and the weirdest, freakiest moment i've had in a long time: chris knows an ex-boyfriend of mine. that was so awkward. he got a phone call from him last night when i was over at his place watching the movie. i figured out who it was cuz chris mentioned his name after he hung up, and since it's not really a common name and i know that they both work on student films a lot, i figured it might be him. and it was. weird. i almost wish i hadn't said anything, cuz now i'm thinking it'll be kinda awkward for chris the next time he sees him. or maybe not. i dunno. i guess i don't know how well they know each other or how often they see each other. whatever. just weird. but yeah, still spending lots of time with chris. still getting occasional flashes of weirdness, but mostly still having a really great time. i'm still kinda dreading "the talk," though. i know it must be coming soon. it's weird, we're practically acting like a couple already. it's kinda cool, but still kinda weird especially realizing that we only went out for the first time two weeks ago. and then just the fact that he's leaving in three weeks and will be gone for three months (although he's coming back for five days in july in between japan and europe). i'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. craziness. confusion. blah.

and i need a job.

and dammit, i hate it that i still fell twinges of weirdness (could it be sadness?) when i hear about a certain someone and what they're doing now. sorry, i just can't bring myself to be any more specific than that. why do i constantly feel confused when it comes to guys??? fuck, i'm almost annoying myself. ugh.

posted at 5:43 PM

Sunday, May 26, 2002

now playing: kroq's 106.7 greatest bands of all time countdown

wow! i'm not really a sports fan, but that lakers game today was INTENSE. such an awesome comeback. that last play was just amazing. not just catching up but winning the game in literally the last few seconds. i'll say it again, WOW!!

i went to panda express today for dinner, and here's what my fortune cookie said: the near future holds a gift of contentment. a positive, non-convoluted fortune, for once. i hope it's true.

our party friday night was pretty good, i think. it was about as good a turnout as could be expected for a summer around a college campus, anyway. i'm quite satisfied. and very happy that no one puked on our carpet. woo-hoo. but anyway, emily and i were happy enough with it that we'll more than likely throw another one soon. and tina is definitely wanting another chance to party cuz she had to miss most of friday cuz of work. =( but it's ok, we'll make up for it. what was cool was that emily and i used the money we got from mtv to buy all the booze and mixers for the party, so we didn't get hit too hard financially. that was quite cool. it all fell into place. that show that we previewed at mtv was funny. it wasn't a casting thing at all, which was totally fine. we still got paid and they gave us candy!! let's see, what else? last night, a group of us went bowling at hollywood star lanes (aka: lebowski bowling) and then to ihop. that was pretty fun. before that i had gone home for a bit to visit my grandma and to see my mom before she leaves for her vacation. she's going to mexico on tuesday...i'm so jealous. i want a vacation, too! but she totally deserves it. and today, i've done nothing productive. wait, i take that back. i went grocery shopping. yup. what a lazy summer it's turning out to be. i'm doing a whole lot of nothing. i totally need to find a job. that'll be my project for this week. as for now, i think i'm happy with my lazy ways. i think i'll go to sleep early so i can get up early tomorrow and be productive. we'll see. in any case, i LOVE not having to worry about doing homework or writing papers. it feels so damn good!! =) yay for summer!

posted at 9:46 PM

Friday, May 24, 2002

party on!! i hope it goes well tonight. i'm so excited! it should be fun. fuck it. even if only our friends show up, we'll have a good time cuz there's so much booze!! =) booze always equals fun. i just hope no one pukes on our carpet. that would suck. a few more preparations need to be made, and then we're all set. woo-hoo! good times.

oh yeah, chris and i decided we're gonna go get piercings. i'm gonna do my tongue and he's gonna do a labret. he tried to get me to go today, but that woulda been no good cuz i woulda been in pain during my own party. and we can't have any of that. but maybe this weekend. if i don't chicken out. hehe. but anyway, we decided to do it after this long discussion we had about body piercings and tattoos. we'd both also like to do tattoos sometime, but neither of us knows what we'd want on our bodies FOREVER. but i'm starting to be a bit more antsy for one. i thought about maybe getting something done with henna to try it out and see how i like it. so we'll see.

ok...time for last minute party preparations. yay! i'm excited!

posted at 5:38 PM

Thursday, May 23, 2002

party at our place tomorrow night!! i'm excited. a little nervous, though. tina, emily, and i were up last night discussing all the things that could possibly go wrong. no good. but i'm still optimistic about it. it should be cool. a bit mellower than the typical party cuz it's summer and there's less people around. but since there's no more competition (HA!), anyone who was gonna party is gonna be at our place. hehe. we were so upset when we found out there was gonna be another party on the same night as ours, but then just found out yesterday that it was cancelled. so it's all us tomorrow night. emily and i will be buying all the booze tonight after we get back from mtv. oh, that was a totally random thing that happened this week. this casting guy from mtv called me on monday, i think, and i remembered that when we were at tiger heat the last time there were these mtv people there and tina and i signed up with them, just for the heck of it, thinking that we'd never be called. so i was totally shocked, but then, i was like, hey, i'd really like to check out how this would all work. i really don't know what it's all about, tho. the guy said something about it being a new show, and they wanted us to kinda preview it and be like a focus group. so i'm a little unclear if it's an actually a casting thing, but since this guy is in the casting department, it seems probable. and he also asked me to ask tina and gary if they could come cuz on the form i had filled out at tiger heat i had put them down as the two people that i talked to every day. but gary's in santa barbara now, and tina has her internship, so i asked if he wanted to ask other people that i knew and so emily's coming with me. oh, and he said they were gonna pay us, too. not much, tho. he said between 25 and 50 bucks, which probably means 25. but whatever, it should be interesting. it's soooo weird, who woulda thought? me and mtv? that's such a mismatch, you don't even know. emily and i are pretty sure that after we're done there we'll never hear from them again. but still, it should be interesting.

other than that, not much has been going on. i've been hanging out with chris a lot. it's been fun. good times, good times. a bit weird, tho, just because of the circumstances. we both know that whatever we have going is pretty much gonna have to end when he leaves for japan in a little less than a month now, which kinda sucks cuz things are going well. so, um, yeah. things have the potential to get weird and uncomfortable when he leaves. not really looking forward to that. but nothing can really be done. things will just have to go how they go. blah.

anyway, i'm off to have a productive day today. i will finally put away all the things that were never put away from the move. i will also do laundry and maybe clear away some furniture from the living room to prepare for our party. and then it'll be off to mtv and to buy booze!! fun!

posted at 10:01 AM

Saturday, May 18, 2002

thwarted yet again!! emily and i didn't get a tv last night, nor did we go to maloney's. grrr. we couldn't find the place we were supposed to get the tv from, and i'm still not too sure what happened w/ the maloney's trip. oh well. we'll keep looking for cheap tv's and we'll hit up maloney's another time. anyway, i went home for a bit today and hung out w/ my sister. i bought a belt from anchor blue that i was badly in need of. my pants won't be falling down any more!! emily thinks it looks trendy, which i suppose it is, but it's really cute. =) and that's about it. picked up my mail, washed my car, and now i'm back. i'll be heading out soon to have dinner at mei long village with tyler. yay!! it's my favorite restaurant and i haven't been there in sooo long. my mouth is already watering thinking about their shanghai steamed dumplings. they're sooo good! mmmm...

also, chris called me a little while ago and we're gonna hang out tomorrow. should be fun. =)

posted at 6:04 PM

Friday, May 17, 2002

now playing: punk-o-rama 7 (really good epitaph comp, look for it on june 25th!)

damn, i'm such a slacker. i can't believe i haven't posted since monday. not like i've been doing anything that would prevent me from posting...maybe that's the reason. nothing's happened that's worth posting. except for wednesday, of course. =) things went well w/ chris, i think. we ended up not going to century city, but to the grove, which i'd never been to before. it's this shopping area, similar to century city, w/ a theater and a bunch of eating places. we had dinner at this really good italian restaurant and then just walked around and browsed a bit before the movie started. it was cool. the thing about going out w/ someone new that i always dread is the possibility for those awkward silences, but that didn't happen w/ us, so *whew*. it was actually pretty comfortable talking w/ him. he's a really cool guy. it was funny, though, throughout the whole night i kept thinking how it was just all so, i dunno, "proper" i think is a good way to put it. it's kinda hard to explain, but it felt like everything was so by the rules of what you're supposed to do on a date. like, he picked me up, we went to dinner and a movie, he wouldn't let me pay for anything, and then he took me back home and walked me to the door. and then he called the next day and told me what a great time he had and that he'd like to do it again some time. not that any of this is a bad thing, i'm just not used to it i guess. like emily commented, he's following protocol very well, which i never really do. i usually just play things by ear and kinda just do what feels right, you know? none of this following "the rules" and "playing the game" stuff. i dunno. whatever. it's just different i guess. i still think chris and i hit it off really well, so i guess we'll carry on a little summer fling until he takes off for europe and japan in about a month. so it goes...

today was a good day at epitaph. tom waits stopped by for this bbq that was thrown in his honor. that was cool. to have an icon like him right there in front of you is just an awesome experience. of course, i didn't talk to him or anything, but shit, we consumed a meal together! that's cool. i wish i coulda taken a picture. of course, even if i'd had my camera with me, i probably woulda been too embarrased to ask to take one. oh well. it was still pretty cool. oh yeah, and brett gurewitz and tim armstrong stopped by, too. so yeah, it was a good day. and i guess there are plans to go to maloney's tonight, so we'll see how that goes. oh wait, i almost forgot. grades were posted today, and i did ok (i guess maybe even a little better than ok), but my nerdy self can't help but be a little disappointed. there's one grade that i'm probably gonna talk to my professor about, cuz it just doesn't seem to add up, and if i can get that one changed, then that'll make things a little better, i guess. i'm such a nerd! i can't believe i still care this much about grades when it doesn't even really matter any more. i've graduated, after all! i guess it feels like a bit of a waste to have done so well throughout college and then end w/ a less than sparkly semester. oh well. i'll get over it. now it's off to buy a tv! woo-hoo, our living room won't feel so lonely anymore. =)

posted at 6:41 PM

Monday, May 13, 2002

yay, my date with chris is back on. we are going to dinner and a movie on wednesday night. we decided to see hollywood ending at century city. don't know what we're getting for dinner yet, tho. but we'll figure it out. he called me up a little while ago and we made the plans. we actually ended up talking for like 40 minutes, which was cool. just about random stuff. he seems like a really cool guy. haha, blink chris. emily says he got that nickname cuz jen thought he looked like mark from blink 182. i don't really see it, but whatever. it made for interesting conversation that one party night. wow, i guess that was just like last tuesday. it seems longer for whatever reason. maybe cuz so much has happened. the main two being that i fucking GRADUATED from college and that i completely moved out of one apartment and into a new one. speaking of which, there's still some unpacking that i need to do. blah. but yay for my date with chris to look forward to! oh yeah, just to clarify the post from saturday, i had made plans w/ chris to go to some graduation party on friday night, but when i got home from dinner, there was a notice from USC housing saying that me and emily had to be moved by like the next day, when we were thinking all the while that we had until monday. since i hadn't done any packing yet, that meant that i had to start packing that night, and so i couldn't go out w/ chris. that's why i hate usc housing. that and the fact that the ac in our new place doesn't work. agh! but once that's fixed and i'm all settled in, this place will actually be pretty neat to live in. i have some cool decorating ideas that i wanna get around to pretty soon. and emily, tina and i wanna throw some parties this summer, too. i was thinking of maybe something in july for my birthday. we'll see. but it's gonna be a good summer, i can feel it! =)

posted at 10:51 PM

Sunday, May 12, 2002

i'm soooo tired. me and emily are finally moved out of troy and into pacific. our place is still a mess, tho...so much crap everywhere that still has to be put away. poop. but i have no more energy. think i'll be getting to bed soon, will finish the unpacking tomorrow. and make a target run later in the week. yes. that sounds like a plan.

oh, i received the sweetest compliment i've had in a while tonight:
nbsector9er: I think you rule

awww. ok, me need sleep now.

posted at 10:43 PM

Saturday, May 11, 2002

I HATE USC HOUSING! i had to cancel a date cuz of them. *sniff* can't finish the whole story now cuz i have to finish packing. ugh!

on a happier note...i am now officially a college graduate. WOW!!! if that doesn't deserve a "yay me!" i don't know what does. =)

posted at 12:31 AM

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

great song of the day: perfect day, by lou reed

i can't believe my boob popped out of my shirt last night. i was so afraid it was gonna happen, too. damn low cut top! that's what i get for trying to be all sexy and shit. whatever. good thing i don't embarrass easily. i'm sure i made some guys very happy last night. and after i had given them all beer, too! beer and boobs. seriously, no guy who was around me last night has any reason to complain. no hook-up for me, tho. dammit! i was so close to getting blink chris, too! i'm pretty sure something woulda happened if he hadn't been playing host to one of his friends who was staying over at his place that night or something. oh well. what can you do? he did ask me for my number, tho. and yes, i gave him my cell number, not my apt number (which will be no use to anyone trying to reach me as of monday since i'm moving). said he knows of some graduation parties going on around here on friday. so we'll see what happens. i was thinking of calling him today to invite him to pilaar's party tonight, but i didn't get his number cuz i didn't have anything to write with. grrr! i'm stupid, too. i didn't think to ask him for it when all three of us had come back to my place cuz i had to pee. then we were just hanging out in the living room w/ joy cuz she was still up watching conan. oh, and it's funny...turns out she knows alex (chris' friend). small fucking world. i did take pictures, tho. i don't know what made me think about it, but i remembered that there were three left in the roll of film that was in my camera. will go to get those developed tomorrow. so good times again last night. i wasn't feeling too good this morning, tho. was sooo tired and hung over. didn't make it to the free senior breakfast at parkside, and was like three hours late to work. hehe, no worries, tho. there wasn't really much work, and i can just make up the hours next week or something. aww man, i'm gonna miss that job. *sniff* it's so laid back and the ppl are just so awesome!! i love cas (the office i work at at school--college advising services). they even threw us seniors a good-bye luncheon today. good food, too. i brought home some cheesecake. yum! oh, and we got presents, too. a graduation tassel display box. so sweet. =) so sad i have to go. =(

well, now i'm off to king taco with tina and gary. what trouble will we get into tonight? hehe.


posted at 7:12 PM

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

last final is DONE!!! hehe, what's really funny is that i turned it in at noon yesterday, exactly the time when it was due (well, to be fair, the clock on my phone said it was 11:58, but their clock said 12:00). *whew* cutting it close there, but hey, at least it wasn't late. go me!! so now i am truly done w/ school. it's just such a crazy feeling still, i feel all weird. i'm so relieved and yet i still get little twinges of sadness. nothing anyone has ever said could have prepared me for the awe that i have felt these last few days. just thinking about how my life is about to completely change. there will be no more school...such an incredible concept considering that school is really all i have known in my life so far. keanu said it best: "whoa."

so yeah, that's pretty much what has been filling my head lately. words like MOMENTOUS and HUGE have been circling around in there, too. it has totally made me wanna live up these last few carefree days that i have left. last night tina, gary, and i went to maloney's. emily was supposed to come too, but she changed her mind cuz she's been working really early this whole week. i don't really blame her. she didn't miss much, tho. maloney's was a total bust. turns out ucla is in midterms right now. boo! but the night still turned out to be really fun. tina and gary...those are some crazy kids. gotta love that! we each had a drink at the bar, then we went to some sandwich place across the street, where tina showed some cleavage to get more fries or something. and then we started making crank calls, which was sooo funny cuz we all have perverted minds and the things coming out of our mouths...i think i was even a little embarrassed (nah, not really). =) then we went to some gay porn shops in west hollywood cuz it was so early still. that was just crazy. the things we saw!! i think my favorite was the "make your own dildo" kit. fucking classic!! oh, and tina bought this book called how to tell if he's gay or something like that. soooo funny. then we were gonna go to this porn theater, just for the heck of it, the tom kat something or other, but they were charging like 10 bucks each. we all thought that was a bit steep for something we were just gonna do for kicks. so off we went, bringing the night to a close. good times, man, such good times.

and now, my day at work is about to come to an end, after which i will go home, have some dinner, chill a bit, maybe get some cleaning and packing done, and then get ready to PAR-TAY!! woo-hoo! there should be some good parties going on tonight cuz it was the last day of finals. here's hoping!!

posted at 5:02 PM

Sunday, May 05, 2002

now playing: weezer, pinkerton

ahhh, good ol' weezer. probably my favorite band. i just read an article about them in mean street magazine. new album coming out may 14th!! and jen told me a little while ago that they'll be touring w/ dashboard in july. that should be an awesome show, i just hope we can get tickets!

anyway, i just realized that i haven't posted in like 3 days!! that's the longest i've gone w/out posting, i think. i just kept going in and out these last few days, when i'd come home i'd be all tired and like the true procrastinator that i am, would leave off blogging for another day. so what's been going on, you ask? well, thursday night i went to club tiger heat w/ gary, tina, and a few other people that i don't really know too well. it was ok. gay clubs are always an interesting experience, i just wish i hadn't been so tired so i could've enjoyed it more. but like i said, it was quite an interesting experience. we met some guy that comes to usc and is in delta chi, i think he said. tina and i were laughing cuz he said he likes his frat a lot cuz there's a lot of gay guys in it! hehe, gay frat boys. that's funny. what's even funnier is that tina hooked up w/ someone!! can you imagine that, she prolly found like the one straight guy there! i remember how gary kept saying, "i can't fucking believe this. how is it that i'm still alone at the end of the night, but tina found a guy!!" funny stuff indeed. he was also pretty drunk which made him even funnier. i kept getting the giggles each time he said it, too, and i kept telling him to shut up cuz tina and her guy were like right there, and i know they probably thought we were laughing at them. oh, and chalking up one on the "life experiences" section, i kissed a gay guy!! or rather, he kissed me. it was one of the guys that we were there w/, gary knew him. it was towards the end of the night and this guy was pretty drunk and giddy cuz it looked like he was about to hook up, and he comes up to me and gary to pretty much say "leave w/out me, i'm about to score," and gives us each a hug and kiss goodbye. not like a make-out kiss or anything, just a little smooch right on the lips. that was rather strange, but like i said, it was an "experience." =)

then friday night, i went to newport to hang out (ie: drink and smoke) w/ tyler. hehe. fun times as always, altho when i got home i was sooo freakin tired, i think i slept til like 1pm! then i went shopping w/ emily. i was looking for a nice summery/graduation dress, but i didn't really see anything i liked. i did buy this cute top, tho. it says "party animal" on it and it has a picture of animal from muppet babies on it, and it's all glittery. i can't wait to wear it to a party somewhere. that'd be cool. =) then later that night me, emily, tim, and tim's roommate mike went to see spiderman. i actually really liked it. it kinda reminded me of x-men, which i also really liked. it's just cool, dammit! totally cheesy at times, but hey, that's how comic books are. kirsten dunst's character got on my nerves a bit, tho. minor flaw, tho. omg, and emily and i both thought that james franco is fucking hot!! mmmm, eye candy. =P i thought toby mcguire was cute, too, especially in that scene where he wakes up after he's gone through his transformation and he discovers his newly developed muscles and is flexing in front of the mirror. oh yeah, baby. yum! hehe. oh yeah, also, since the 9:30 and 9:55 shows that we wanted to catch were sold out and we had to wait til the 10:45 one, we were killing time in that bookstore at century city, and i bought the "worst case scenario survival handbook: dating and sex." it's so hilarious. a sampling of topics covered: how to fend off a pick up artist, how to determine if your date is an axe murderer, how to have sex in a small space, how to remove difficult clothing, and how to survive if you wake up next to someone whose name you don't remember. good stuff. definitely a good coffeetable book.

and today, i plan to actually do my take home final that i had planned to have finished by friday. honestly, who was i trying to kid? it's not due til tomorrow, i should've known that there was no way in hell that I would actually get it done a whole three days before it was due. eh, whatever. truly a procrastinator til the end. go me!

posted at 2:34 PM

Wednesday, May 01, 2002

visit my brand new webpage!! tell me whatcha think...i welcome all comments, suggestions, criticism, etc. ok, me tired now. sleep!

posted at 11:43 PM