Sunday, September 29, 2002
man, i hate how the weekends just go by soooooo quickly. how is it sunday already? back to the daily grind tomorrow. sad. but i guess the weekend's not completely over just yet. me and emily are gonna see my big fat greek wedding tonight, which i've been wanting to see for a while. i think i'll like it. i'm trying not to get my expectations too high, tho, so as to not ruin it for myself.

went to see ozomatli last night for some eastside cafe fundraising thing. it was in east l.a./boyle heights. i had a lotta fun, although i felt kinda bad that rick and pat never found the place, and although we left after only a few ozomatli songs cuz aimee was already sick, and the rain and cold didn't help. it was cool though, cuz a few other bands played. i really liked east l.a. sabor factory. they were kinda in the vein of ozomatli. worked the crowd really well. saw a few other 'sc people, so it was good times. then went to eat pizza at emily's and went to some party in chez ronnee, which was uneventful, but it was funny on the walk back cuz emily and jen were way drunk and bitching at random people that we passed along the way. that was quite entertaining.

and today i had lunch with rick, his sister, and her boyfriend at farmer's market, and it was cool cuz as we were walking through the grove, we came upon this bench where this book was just sitting there. and it had a note on it that said something along the lines of, "free book. look inside." and then inside there was this explanation about how whoever picked up the book should read it, then go online to this website (which i can't remember now) and write a journal entry about it, and then pass it along in a similar way. the whole purpose of the project was to track the book, and see with who and where it ended up, and to track what people though of it and how they were affected by it and such. i thought that was pretty cool. it kinda reminded me of when you release balloons with notes attached to ask people to contact you so you could know where it ended up. i liked how in the note inside the book, it described it as "realeasing it into the wild." i know it all must be some kind of marketing ploy, but i still think it's pretty cool, how it's building those random connections between people. rick took the book so i'll have to ask him what website it was and such. make sure he keeps me filled in, cuz this whole thing really intrigues me.

posted at 6:10 PM

Friday, September 27, 2002

pretty slow and uneventful at work today, but i did get a nice compliment. there's been a few resumes that have been getting submitted cuz they're still looking to hire one more person, and apparently a lot of them have just been sub-par. so i guess bob got another one of those today, which prompted him to tell me how they were lucky that they got me for the job cuz i've been doing really well and i'm catching on really quickly and all my accounts have been saying really nice things about me. awwwww! i'm glad to finally be getting some feedback and to know that they think i'm doing a pretty good job. it's the little things, man! =)

posted at 6:07 PM

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

no one steals my thunder!!! onward i go! =)

and yay!!! finally, my very own internet! this is bad, tho. i'm blogging, downloading songs, and carrying on four IM chats at the same time. baaaad. but oh, so fun!

posted at 9:19 PM

Monday, September 23, 2002

to post or not to post? makes me feel kinda exposed, but fuck it. here goes:

oh man, i hope i'm not getting sick. i kept sneezing at work today. and my head was starting to feel a little congested too. and i felt really really hot. i think i feel fine now, but i hope this isn't just the beginning of some nasty cold. i hate being sick.

but even that didn't get me down cuz i had a really good night last night. had a good heart to heart with rick. among other stuff we discussed, i get to upgrade him from "sorta boyfriend" to just "boyfriend" (apparently, he's already been referring to me as his girlfriend). hehe. silly, i know. but it brings a smile to my face. =)

posted at 9:13 PM

Sunday, September 22, 2002

success! my mission for the day is accomplished. go me! still two more to go, though.

posted at 6:04 PM

ugh. i slept way too much today. didn't get up til about one o'clock. i wasn't even all that tired or sleepy, i just didn't feel like getting outta bed. but i finally awoke to the smell of cookies and then i ate one. i feel so lazy today. i don't feel like doing anything. i feel like just lounging around and watching tv all day. but i actually just thought of something that i should take care of. hopefully it won't take long and then i can resume lounging. sounds like a plan.

the sleater-kinney concert last night was really good. there were a couple of opening bands. the bangs were pretty good. but i liked the first act a lot better. shannon wright, if i remember correctly. she had an amazing voice. i'll have to find some more stuff by her. ears are still ringing, tho. i hope i don't go deaf in addition to going blind. speaking of which, i got my glasses fixed! yay!

trying to find motivation to step away from the computer and get my day started. i'm just in such a blah mood. i realized it's because i'm PMSing. i don't get bitchy and i don't have nasty mood swings, but i noticed at one point a while back that i just start to feel down, for no real reason. it's never hardcore depression or anything, just a general feeling of eh. i used to think that i was just more sensitive during PMS, and that it was just easier for little things to get to me, but i notice now that the feeling is just there, regardless of if anything happens to upset me or not. i noticed it last night. i was feeling down, for no real reason, and then it hit me, damn period is coming! so i wrote a note to myself, "you are PMSing. don't stress. it'll all ride out." i guess. i mean, i know this is true. time and time again, i've noticed this happening. and yet, can't shake the feeling. blah. whatever. time to get busy.

posted at 1:54 PM

Thursday, September 19, 2002

the days are getting shorter. where does the time go?

posted at 9:40 PM

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

oh sad. i miss robert from ralphs. grocery shopping just wasn't the same experience without him. oh well. i'll get over it. i think i have to find a better store though. i went to the ralphs on wilshire, the fancy one with the ramps so you can take your cart down to the parking lot (it's on a lower level), but everything seemed more expensive than good ol' ghetto ralphs. maybe it's all just in my head. but i'll have to comparison shop nonetheless.

oh, and i forgot to say yesterday, chris e-mailed me!! he said that he was having a really great time in europe and that even though things are still just a little bit sensitive, that he'd like to try and get together sometime when he gets back. this was in reply to an e-mail that i had written him earlier saying how i hoped that we could get past the initial awkwardness and be able to become friends. so it makes me happy that he wants to try to work things out, too. i was so afraid that he hated me, cuz i really did make such a big mess of that situation. but hopefully that'll all be put in the past. above all else, i'm just really happy that he's having such a good time in europe and that he seems to be pretty much over it.

posted at 9:12 PM

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

hmmm...looks like i no longer have my space on the usc server. the pic i usually have of the stars is no longer loading. oh well. i wanted to change my blog template soon anyway. as soon as i have internet on my own computer. *sigh* still waiting on that. does anyone out there have a drill i could borrow, by chance? cuz we're gonna have to drill a hole through my wall so we can fit the cable through. that's all that's needed. then i can have the freedom to have my aim running all the time, if i wished it so. hopefully soon. anyway, must go grocery shopping now.

posted at 7:55 PM

Sunday, September 15, 2002

last night rick told me to listen to this song.

Distractions - Zero 7

Fancy a big house
Some kids and a horse
I can not quite, but nearly
Guarantee, a divorce
I think that I love you
I think that I do
So go on mister, make Miss me Mrs you.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth, from the truth.

Fancy a fast car
A bag full of loot
I can nearly guarantee
You’ll end up with the boot.

I love you, I love you, I love you , I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth, from the truth.
I love you, I love you, I love you , I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth, from the truth.

posted at 12:39 PM

Saturday, September 14, 2002

i got my new cell phone today! yay, i'm so excited. it's taking forever to charge, though. and i can't have it activated til the battery is fully charged, according to the instructions. i'm anxious to start fiddling with it. oh well. i also went to have my camera checked out cuz it's been acting screwey lately. it technically still works cuz it'll still let me take pictures, but the display won't tell me how many shots i have left or if the flash is on or not. and it also won't let me set the date. damn advantix! so the lady at the store said that it's not even worth it to get it fixed cuz it'll probably cost around $100 w/ all the shipping and estimation costs cuz they couldn't actually fix it there and would have to send it back to the manufacturer or wherever and plus it would take forever. not to mention that $100 is how much the camera cost in the first place. so she just recommended that i get a new camera, which i decided that i will. i probably won't go for an aps this time around. it's just not worth it. film and developing costs so much more than regular 35mm. i think i'll ask rick to help me shop for a new camera. he knows about such things. i wonder what i should do w/ my old camera, tho. cuz like i said, it still technically works. you can still take pictures with it. we'll see, i guess.

oh, and i got my glasses tightened today! they don't fall off my face when i look down anymore, and they don't look crooked either. i know, i'm such a dork for getting excited about this. but dammit, it makes me happy. so there.

i don't know what's going on tonight yet. i hope i get to see rick, before he leaves for arizona tomorrow for that film shoot. cuz if he comes home late tonight and has to leave early tomorrow, then i might not be able to say goodbye or see him for a whole week, which would be sad. i know it's only a week, but still...i'd miss him. and writing that just now makes me feel kinda weird. one, because i know he reads my blog. and two, cuz i'm generally not very open about discussing my relationships for the whole world to see (even though i'm sure everyone knows how much i like rick and i can imagine how this really isn't news to anyone). i don't know how jen does it, man. being so open about everything on her blog. that's just not me, i guess. the way i see things is that i'd prefer to let my actions speak for me. kinda like that song, more than words by extreme (hehe, yes, that power ballad). how it says that actions mean a lot more and reflect how much you care better than words can. i think that's about right, and i'm pretty sure that most people (including rick) can pick up on how much i like him without me having to actually say it. although i guess i'm saying it now. can't make it more obvious can i? =)

posted at 8:47 PM

Thursday, September 12, 2002

"every person has an inalienable right to shake his or her own booty" ~ some documentary on vh1

i heard that!!! that was really funny. i was just fooling around on the computer not really paying attention to the tv, and jordan was channel surfing and then i heard that line. that was fucking great. a whole documentary on the history of booty in music. good stuff.

anyway, since i haven't posted in forever, here's a few updates. i'm loving my new apartment. my room's pretty much settled, everything's unpacked and neatly put away in my new furniture that rick put together for me. now i just need to decorate my walls. i already kinda started by putting up a bunch of photos. still need my posters and other random stuff that i find amusing. my roomates are cool, and we're still planning to have a small party soon once everything is settled. we're getting there! slowly but surely. we have a couch now, and the cable's hooked up (we have all the channels, too! at least for a few months). now all i need is for the dsl to be hooked up to my own computer and i'll be truly happy. god, i'm such an internet whore!! at least i freely admit it.

and work is going well, i guess. it's a good job, pretty laid back. i get to wear my converse to work. that makes me happy. and the one other sales guy is really cool. bob. i like that name. everytime i say anything to him, i make sure to say his name. "bob, what do you think of this?" "that was a good one, bob." hehe. i am so easily amused. oh, and i found out his dog is in two strokes videos!! hard to explain and someday. and i've already gotten a bunch of free cd's. a lot of them i don't really care for, but it's ok cuz i plan on taking them to amoeba. it's like striking gold, man! so i'm happy with it for now. but i'm pretty sure that i'll start looking for something else after i've been there for six months. it's a good starting place i think, but i know i don't wanna be there forever. and between six months and a year is enough time that it looks good on a resume for experience, but doesn't make me look too flaky or fickle. sounds like a plan to me!

let's see, what else? went to street scene in san diego last weekend w/ rick and kyla, which was a lot of fun. so much good music! spent the night there at rick's sister's boyfriend's friend's place (hehe), then came back and dropped kyla off so she could get ready for work and me and rick went to brunch at denny's and then lazed around the park in front of my place for a few hours. it was a good day. =)

well, well, well. i've gone on way too long now. you'll have to excuse me. we're talking at least three weeks with no internet!! i needed my fix, you know? goodnight kids!

posted at 10:04 PM

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

thanks for the hug, emily! yeah, i remember that phone call and watching all that stuff on tv. god, and to think i was supposed to fly out to new york the very next day. so eerie. but i feel a lot better now. once they turned off the radio at work and i got into my groove. i don't even know why it upset me so much. just too much fucked up shit in the world; being inundated by it all at the same time. but what can you do, you know? you really can't control how the outside world functions. the only thing we can control is our own actions and perception on life. and that's what i've always tried to do. just always reminding myself that there really is a lot of good out there, not letting the little things get you down. so yeah, i feel good now.

and as you can see, i'm kinda connected now. we got the dsl modem thingie and it's set up on albert's computer now, but not the rest of ours yet. more cables or something have to come still. but he's being generous enough to let us use his computer whenever. but i've been on long enough, and it's time for me to go. yay internet!

posted at 10:51 PM

i have such a bad taste in my mouth right now. everything feels so weird today. it didn't really hit me til i got up this morning and started listening to the radio. i mean, i knew this day was coming, how could i not, you know? there's been such a build up in all media outlets everywhere, but nothing was really affecting me til today. i'm looking around at work now, and everyone is just "business as usual," and all the while i'm just thinking how i really really don't wanna be here right now. i just wanna go home to be w/ my friends and family right now. it doesn't help that the office is listening to the howard stern re-broadcast from this day last year. it's just all hanging over the air. i feel compelled to call everyone i care about and make sure they're ok.

i need a hug.

i wish i could write more...so many things going through my head. but i have to go have a moment in the bathroom now and then get back to work.

posted at 10:32 AM