Friday, March 25, 2005
it's a gorgeous fucking day outside today. i definitely plan on taking advantage of it on this glorious good friday off! ha...i just remembered how when i was interning at epitaph we had good friday off but no one told me and i still showed up. yeah, that sucked. but that's not the case today, thank goodness. i already went for a run at the park and i plan on being out for as much of the day as i can today to enjoy this fine, fine LA weather. yup yup...i'm enjoying my own company just fine, thankyouverymuch.

posted at 11:16 AM

Monday, March 21, 2005

i went to see kaiser chiefs at amoeba tonight. they only played like 5 songs, but they were good. i only really liked a couple of the songs, but the performance was solid. very energetic, good banter and all that. i ended up going by myself, which i suspect is the first of many solo outings in the near future, just because of the current situation. *sigh* it's just really really sad what it's come to. i understand why it has to be this way, and that it's for the best, but that doesn't really make it any easier or any less sad.

sometimes i wonder what things would be like now if we'd never dated. or at the very least, quit while we were ahead and not have gotten back together after that first initial break-up, way back during my senior year (god, was that three years ago already? i can still remember exactly what it felt like). i mean, i don't know if i could ever really give up all the amazing moments and memories, but to think of all the pain i've felt over the past 1.5+ years or so...falling in love and getting my heart broken, how unbelievably hard it was to get over it, how i still have panicked moments when i wonder if i really am over it, how i've put up my defenses and am kinda scared that i may never fall in love again, or at the very least be able to love as freely (even recklessly?) as i once did...it's just really hard not to wonder. and the way things are now...i don't know. more than anything i just really wish i didn't feel like i might be losing one of my really good friends.

this whole situation just sucks.

posted at 8:38 PM

Sunday, March 20, 2005

fuck, a whole goddamn week later and nothing is resolved. and so i still feel like shit. he can pretend that things are all fine and dandy but they're not.

all i want is a goddamn apology. is that so unreasonable? jeez.

posted at 5:01 PM

Sunday, March 13, 2005

ugh. weird motherfucking night last night. and i'm still upset. ugh!!!!!

posted at 1:47 PM